Another hockey season, another seven months that Todd and I spend apart. Cue the “absence makes the heart grow fonder” crap and save it. I’ve heard it, we’ve heard it and we get it. We’re in a part-time long distance relationship and it blows. Part-time? uh huh, not so bad right? I mean, he’s only gone for the hockey season. Plus, saving up my vacation time allows me to visit him almost monthly, hello girlfriend of the year award! This may come as a shock, but I wasn’t always so welcoming to the LDR idea. In fact, rewind six years ago (when I was 20 and thought I was invincible) the thought of it would make me cringe. Why in the world would anyone want a boyfriend without actually having a physical boyfriend? Like WHAT? -Well, here I am, again, for the third time without my physical boyfriend. Don’t worry, it’s not the end of the world we’re surviving over here just fine. If anything, long distance has actually strengthened our relationship and taught us a lot about each other. So, to those new to the hockey wife life (lol) and anyone else embarking on this crazy adventure, I put together some helpful tips that have worked for us.
Trust: This is by far the most important tip and I can’t stress this enough. You just have to trust each other, period. There is no way around this! Take those awful thoughts that I know you’re thinking, push them to the back of your mind, step on them and bury them. Stop creating scenarios in your head, stop over thinking, stop accusing, just stop. I promise you this doesn’t help you at all, this is only going to create problems that weren’t even there to begin with.
Communication: Say good morning and goodnight, check in during the day, take interest in each others lives. Technology today makes communicating so easy. You can FaceTime, Skype, send videos or voice notes and many cellphone companies offer long distance rates and plans that can help hinder the burden on your bill. However, keeping a steady line of communication does not mean you need to smother them. You don’t have to speak to each other 24 hours a day 7 days a week. I know you might think you need to compensate for the distance but you don’t! That being said, if you usually communicate every minute of the day when you’re together, then ignore what I just said and carry on.
Be Honest, Be Open: Lay out your expectations right from the beginning. Make sure you both are on the same page. Communicate your expectations about the relationship and understand theirs. Banish the jealousy as soon as it rears its ugly head your way! I know, it’s hard when you’re 1000 miles away and jealousy is bound to happen but don’t let it rule your relationship. Let him know how you feel, after all, you are the one dating him!
Keep the Romance Alive: Just because you aren’t physically together, doesn’t mean you have to let the romance die. Send them a card via snail mail, just because. Put together a care package with their favourite things and ship it to them, just be mindful of worldwide shipping costs and rules. Talk dirty to one another (we’re all adults here)…..I think you get the idea.
Enjoy Yourself: The world isn’t ending, you’ll see him soon enough. So, take this time to try something new and focus on yourself. Take on a new activity or hobby and spend time with your girlfriends and family. When Todd’s away, I volunteer and mentor young girls in the community. As well as feed my hot yoga obsession. Really, it’s a win win!
At the end of the day, everyone’s relationship is different . Some of you may read this and completely disagree, and that’s okay. Do what works best for you two, and keeps you both happy. Don’t let negativity get to you, forget what people say: Long distance relationships can work. Being apart can make you work harder at your relationship. Yes, it requires effort but this will only make it stronger. Remember this is temporary, hockey season isn’t that long 🙂